Love is a Mixtape
Pickle Me This Digest: October in Song
At the turn of the century, almost all of the romantic love I had to give was unrequited, and the only problem with that (in retrospect) was that I never got to realize my dream of having a boyfriend come along to digitize my vast collection of mixed tapes, and then burn them onto CDs. And I suppose I could have done like Dalloway and digitized the mixtapes myself, but I didn’t have my own internet connection back then, let alone a CD burner, and besides, it used to take entire afternoons to download half a song, and burning a CD could take even longer, and the only people with patience for such projects were the kinds of emotionally stunted, technically-inclined dorks that I tended to have crushes on, and none of them ever cared about me enough to do so.
So my trove of mixtapes was lost to time, from “Britt’s Mix 93” to the ska tape our friend Laura made in 1997, that very random tape I made in Grade 10 that went from April Wine’s “I Wouldn’t Want to Lose Your Love” to Alannah Myles’ “Lover of Mine,” and that most iconic Summer of ‘99 tape whose Side B began with Sophie B. Hawkins’ “As I Lay Me Down” to Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” (and “Angels” by Robbie Williams in there somewhere).
And yes, it’s true that if any of those CD burner-owning boys I’d fancied had ever managed to love me back, the attraction might have petered out around the time they discovered the extent of my affinity for soft rock. The one guy I did go out with during this period didn’t have a CD burner either, but when I gave him a tape that included Heather Nova’s “London Rain (Nothing Heals Me Like You Do),” he was really mean about it, which should have been a red flag—nobody puts a track from the Dawson’s Creek soundtrack in the corner. (Full disclosure: his mixtape for me was really cool, introducing me to music I love to this day, but he was not very nice in the end.)
Mixtapes, for me, in the 1990s, were almost like a scrapbook, compiled in real time. My Sony Sports Walkman was always nearby, and I’d be listening to the tape-in-progress, removing the tape from my deck only to add to it, taping something off a friend’s CD, recording a song off the radio, or from somebody’s parents’ record collection. And then once the tape was complete, it would be titled and dated, a record of time, much of the music not actually contemporary, assembled by chance, but that would become my soundtrack as I made my way through the world, foam headphones ever-present on my ears (at least until I stepped on the headset and broke it, which happened all the time).
My husband never made me a mixtape. We met in 2002, and he’d already embraced the future, a never-to-be-obsolete technology called the minidisc (ha ha) and he brought me on board, for which he still regularly apologizes. He must have made me a mix-minidisc, but I don’t remember what was on it, mostly because there was so much else going on at the time, our separate lives converging, the beginning of forever. In 2005, under the impression of an iconic ad, we each purchased an ipod shuffle (catchphrase: “Life is random”), which was the start of the end of our relationship with physical media (although we still own an entire shelf unit of CDs).
But the ipod shuffle would not be the the end of us sharing music together, on road trips, in the kitchen doing dishes. My husband has a Spotify playlist called “The Kerry List” that is 2 hours and 26 minutes long, specially curated at the intersection of our tastes, and while there’s no Mariah Carey, every single track is one that makes me exclaim, “Tune!” at the opening strains, and to me there is nothing more generous.
Including “London Rain (Nothing Heals Me Like You Do).”
Love is a mixtape, indeed.
Mixtapes, But Make Them Literary (and on my Podcast!)
Make Me a Mixtape, by Jennifer Whiteford
In our conversation on the BOOKSPO podcast, Jennifer Whiteford and I talked about what was literary about the mixtape—she talked about how both a book and a mixtape need to be an effective communication tool and tell their stories, how a great first line and a great first track work the same way, and so much more that’s analogous between the two, which brought back all kinds of memories for me. And so did her wonderful cozy romance novel, which managed to be cool and punk-rock at the very same time, but not so cool that the soundtrack doesn’t appeal to the likes of me (Pat Benatar! Heart!). I loved this ode to music and friendship, and it’s one of my favourite books of the season.
Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, by Michelle Hébert
I didn’t plan to choose so many books about mixtapes for my podcast, and I didn’t intend to have this newsletter turn into an advertisement for my podcast, but here we are. Michelle Hébert was on BOOKSPO last May talking about her novel Every Little Thing She Does is Magic, a novel that didn’t began with ‘80s music, but instead with the influence of fairy tales, with the influence of a princess in a tower as Hébert began to write the story of Kitten Love and her family’s ancient curse, and then it turned out that these ideas would fit together with an ‘80s soundtrack in a way that might surprise readers but just seems like destiny. Every chapter has a different song title and you can explore the whole mixtape here!
We Oughta Know: How Celine, Shania, Alanis, and Sarah Ruled the ‘90s and Changed Music, by Andrea Warner
It’s been almost ten years since I read We Oughta Know in its first incarnation, which was most significant for me because it was the beginning of my life as an Andrea Warner superfan. I’m not being flippant! She’s so good! Read her essay on “Drinkin’ in LA,” or when she gives the incredible Avril Lavigne ballad “I’m With You” the cred that it’s always been deserving of. The fact that we’re the same age is part of the reason why her work speaks to me so much, but she’s also just the kindest, most thoughtful human being—and don’t worry, she was on my podcast last season with her book Time of My Life: Dirty Dancing.
And now her debut is reissued, updated and expanded, and I read it again this week just as enraptured as I was the first time, but the way she articulated the strange paradox of growing up in the ‘90s with Celine, Shania, Alanis and Sarah (McLachlan) in the spotlight, taking up all the space, but also how charged that space was with a misogyny that so many of us even carried inside ourselves and which absolutely saturated our culture. We were clueless, and yet the women in song were everywhere too, and we were steeped in all of it, and it was wonderful and terrible, Warner critiquing that extraordinary cultural moment in her characteristic incisive and constructive fashion. So smart and so fun—like the best mixtape, this book is a time machine, for better and for worse.
The Lightning Bottles, by Marissa Stapley
As well as being an amazing writer, my friend Marissa is a pretty epic music fan, but not one so cool that she didn’t end up making a playlist for her 40th birthday party that followed “Right Down the Line,” by Gerry Rafferty, with “Waiting for a Star to Fall,” by Boy Meets Girl, a fairly unlikely pairing, I think, and even stranger for being identical to a selection from a playlist of mine at the time (and then it was thinking about this a lot that gave me the title for my second novel, but now I’m getting off track). A kind of musical kismet, I think, and this is also what her latest bestselling novel is about, The Lightning Bottles the story of a legendary ‘90s band that was also a tortured romance, but which began with two teenage kids sending mix tapes across the country after meeting on a music lovers’ BBS chatroom. A love story and a compelling mystery at once, The Lightning Bottles is Marissa’s best book yet, and I’m so excited for everybody to read it. (And yes, she was on my podcast too! You can listen here.)
Beast, by Richard Van Camp
Richard Van Camp hasn’t been on the BOOKSPO podcast…yet! But he’s coming up later this month with his new YA release, the story of a teenage boy and his friends who must come together to save the world from a terrifying demon, blending 1980s nostalgia and horror with Indigenous stories and tradition from Van Camp’s Tłı̨chǫ people in the Northwest Territories. Like Michelle Hébert’s novel, every chapter is named for a different ‘80s track, each one specially chosen to be something its characters might have been listening to themselves (every chapter from the bully’s point of view is named for a track by Slayer!), and it’s such a raucous, wonderful, exuberant adventure.
Heartbreak Is the National Anthem: How Taylor Swift Reinvented Pop Music, by Rob Sheffield (Out November 12)
As far as I know, Rob Sheffield has no plans to appear on my podcast, but I stole the title of this newsletter from his 2007 book, Love is a Mixtape, a memoir about love and loss. I still remember being heartened by this Rolling Stone music critic who was not so cool that he didn’t understand that Hanson’s “Mmmbop” was just an excellent pop song, and how he was sad after his wife died that she’d never get the pleasure of loving it, because he knows that she would have. Which to my mind makes him a writer wholly up to the task of publishing a book about Taylor Swift, who I love so much. I’m so excited to read it.
Coming Up
On Friday October 26 at noon, I have the great (and weird!) pleasure of hosting a virtual event about women in piracy at the Toronto Public Library. I’m so excited about this conversation, which blends fact and fiction, novelists and academics, and is going to be great. Register today!
Christmas in September
Check out my haul from the 2024 Victoria College Booksale!
On Emily-Splaining
People are weird on the internet. A couple of weeks ago, a comment turned up on a post I published more than four years ago about rereading Emily of New Moon, and this commenter was not having it, unleashing a diatribe of scolding. And not even for having stolen a copy of the book from my school library (which would have been fair!), but for having understood Emily within the context of Anne, and for judging a book by its cover. Of my trouble with the drowned barn cats, they wrote “If your delicate modern sensibilities are disturbed by this, well — you need to read other books.” OMG, SERIOUSLY, COMMENTER: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?? I have read ALL THE BOOKS. (Read the rest…)
Recently Read
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4 Spots Left for 2025 Manuscript Consultations!
There are 4 2025 spots left (plus November 2024 is still open!).
"Working with Kerry Clare on my manuscript was a truly positive experience. Her feedback was detailed, straightforward, and insightful. Her intuition and perceptiveness not only helped me focus on rewriting and improving weak areas, but her notes gave me a much better perspective overall and her comments became a gateway to adding more depth to the stories. If you are looking for someone with a great understanding of fiction and a passion for writing, Kerry is an excellent choice. She combines dexterous editing with inspiration and kindness." —AB
Hit reply to this message if you have any questions and/or claim your spot today! Let me help you meet your creative goals for 2025.
My Books in the World
Thanks to Kirti Bhadresa (whose story collection AN ASTONISHMENT OF STARS is SO GOOD!) for including ASKING FOR A FRIEND on her “Get to the Heart” list. Bhadresa writes, “Everyone loves a romance, but I also enjoy reading about the equally defining, non-romantic relationships we centre less often in literature. Clare’s story of a lifelong friendship is a great example of this. The two women meet when they are young and have a lasting, ongoing impact on each other. Asking for a Friend is relatable and compelling. I felt so much for these women navigating the entanglements of life. This isn’t a fast story, and that, to me, is its strength. A true friendship is layered,has moments of intensity that wane again, true to real life. Kerry Clare manages to convey this intricacy beautifully.” My book is in the best company too. Check out the whole list here.
More than 10 years ago now, writer Emily Schultz blurbed my first book, the essay anthology THE M WORD: CONVERSATIONS ABOUT MOTHERHOOD, and so it seemed rather fitting that it was from her that I would receive a DM last week with a link to “7 Small Press Books About Motherhood You Might Have Missed” in Electric Lit. (Also, you need to read Emily’s recent essay about her mother’s illegal abortion, and why it’s important to vote with reproductive justice front of mind.) Thanks to Jennifer Case for recommending THE M WORD, writing, “If what we long for in motherhood books is complexity, and moments when joy and sorrow and boredom and anger can rub against each other, side by side, this book certainly offers that. It isn’t a celebratory motherhood book—the kind you might see at the bookstand at Target around Mother’s Day. Instead it is real, well-written, evocative, and diverse, containing essays about infertility, being a stepmom, deciding not to have children, and childbirth. It left me able to hold the complexities of my own experience, and to see those complexities as beautiful.”